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Joke of the Day

"I must be fucking great in the sack Every girl I've ever had sex with has told me she wishes it had been longer!"

"So I was giving my gf the ghomeshi last night.... ^That is the joke and punchline all in one."

"How does a racist joke start? With a small loan of a million dollars"

"Doctor told me I have cirrhosis of liver How am I going to cure my alcohol addiction now!"

"ME: bartender. another. BARTENDER: but you just- ME: *slams fist on bar* ANOTHER [bartender reluctantly hands me another moist towelette]"

"Some things you recycle, some you throw away. For example: Paper & plastic you recycle. Opportunities, love and your future you throw away."

"What do you call a prematurely born Chinese baby? Sudden Lee"

"My lesbian neighbor got me a Rolex this year for my birthday... I think she misunderstood when I said ""I wanna watch"""

"The opposite of Iceland is water water"

"A gross joke which is better to listen to, than to read. - What is the difference between diarrhea and a regular stool? You can't [gbrblblblbl](gargling noise) with a regular stool."