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Joke of the Day

"I don't think of women as just nice tits, a sweet ass, a pretty face or any single one of their parts... ... I think of them as a hole."

"My parachute didn't deploy At least I have the rest of my life to fix it."

"Pilot: ""What does this button do?"" *intercom turns on* Pilot: ""Doesn't do anything. Not sure what any of these buttons do."""

"College hot dogs What do uou call a hot dog in college? A FRATwurst! Hahahahahaha"

"I'm so old I remember when teens getting pregnant meant ""PANIC!"" not ""Congratulations, you get your own MTV show!"""

"Why can't americans play LoL? They can't guard their towers."

"What would you call Geralt of rivia if he had a sex change? The switcher"

"You never really see how toxic someone is until you breathe fresher air."

"My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for ""minimal lettuce."" He said he was sorry but they only had iceberg."

"4 different views of a tunnel PESSIMIST: Dark tunnel. OPTIMIST: Light at the end of the tunnel. REALIST: A train. TRAIN OPERATOR: 3 idiots standing on the tracks."