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Joke of the Day

"I'm so old I remember when teens getting pregnant meant ""PANIC!"" not ""Congratulations, you get your own MTV show!"""

"Why is one floor taller than the rest of the floors in the building? It's a long story."

"Does anyone know a good locksmith? I spent the entire day cleaning the entire house and need to keep my family out."

"5 out of six researchers conclude, Russian roulette is complete safe."

"A chick with twelve boobs... Sounds crazy, dozentit?"

"I don't think I'll ever get married... Instead, I'll find a woman I don't like and buy her a house."

"""Wow! Can you believe it's almost June already?!"" YES DEB, I AM WHOLLY MYSTIFIED BY THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF TIME ON PLANET EARTH"

"What are the two best arguments against democracy? Donald Trump & Hillary Clinton"

"Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella with him everywhere? Fa Drizzle"

"Sorry I reported your newborn's pic on FB but nudity is nudity"