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Joke of the Day

"My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for ""minimal lettuce."" He said he was sorry but they only had iceberg."

"I'm beginning to think the dark circles that appeared under my eyes in 2008 may not go away."

"I went to a pot bar in Colorado this post weekend It was really a seedy joint."

"The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge ""I dont recognize this court!"" ""Why?"" asked the Judge. ""Because you've had it decorated since the last time I was here."""

"""It's terminal-"" GOD! HOW LONG DO I HAVE? ""Departure time is in three hours."" THREE? WHAT DO I DO? ""This is an airport."" SO WHAT? I'M DYING!"

"Did you hear the one where a father told his kid to quit masturbating or he'd go blind? His kid said, ""Dad, I'm over here!"""

"ww2 Russia be like... You better Czech yourself before you rek yourself."

"Why does Bill Clinton chew gum all the time? He has an oral fixation."

"Advertisers: you can stop using ""it will change your life"" as a selling point. Cocaine, unemployment, and AIDS will also change your life."

"How much does it cost to kill a Jew? It holocausts one."