103600

Joke of the Day

"Marriage. Because otherwise hating someone for turning the page of a newspaper too loudly would seem absurd"

"Did you know Helen Keller had a very pretty dollhouse? Neither did she."

"I had to take my horse to get surgery last week. The doctor told me he's in stable condition."

"Lord of the Rings: A Shortened Version -Give me the ring. -No."

"So i was banging a girl yesterday and she kept on saying another guys name... Who the fuck is rape?"

"A good surprise is like an invisible penis... ... you never see it coming."

"About 2/3 of the Atheists I know were raised catholic, and I can't help but wonder... Was the sex really that bad?"

"Wanna burn fat quickly and without dieting? Here, take this gasoline and matches."

"[spelling bee] your word is 'hor d'oeuvre' ""can you use it in a sentence?"" yes...'I bet this kid can't spell hor d'oeuvre'"

"Went to the hardware store today... I picked up a can of insecticide and asked the guy behind the counter if this was good for ants. Old man says ""nope, it'll kill em"""