211977

Joke of the Day

"Wanna burn fat quickly and without dieting? Here, take this gasoline and matches."

"The government says 50 terror plots have been thwarted since NSA surveillance. What a perfectly even, unsuspicious number."

"Doctor doctor people keep telling me I'm ugly! Lay on the couch face down."

"God: Women will bleed for a week. Universe: What will men do for pleasure at that time? God: *sigh* Fine. Mouths. But they'll talk. A lot."

"What is a Juanito? A little Juan"

"Word meanings: Slut: A prostitute that doesn't charge. Prostitute: A clever slut!"

"I watched a comedian called Paul Jones the other day. He was Appauling!"

"My family and I are going camping for Memorial Weekend. I asked my mother if I could bring my trombone so I can practice, but she said no, because we might get ***banned.***"

"*I throw my hat into the ring* Oh you wanna fight do ya? *I throw my pants into the ring* Pal this is gettin' weird *I throw my skin into th"

"You must've been conceived at home... That's where most accidents happen."