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Joke of the Day

"Did you know Helen Keller had a very pretty dollhouse? Neither did she."

"Married men live longer then single men. So if you want a slow death...... ;-)"

"The Bra Joke A bra walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The barman says ""I can't serve you, you're off your tits"""

"If you had ten minutes to list off all the best Mumford & Sons songs, what would you do with the extra 9 minutes and 55 seconds?"

"Did you hear about the scarecrow that got an award? It was for being outstanding in his field."

"I slept like a baby last night... I woke up every 15 minutes and then shat myself"

"Oh, you're straight? Well, so is spaghetti until it gets hot and wet."

"A policeman came into my house and told me to put my hands up.I told him that he wasn't a DJ and we laughed and laughed and now I'm in jail."

"If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U & I and your hot friend Amber together."

"What's the difference between a Catholic and a Jew? At least when a Catholic scars you for life, you might get to cum."