103366

Joke of the Day

"Not only is today Leap Day, but it's also the 52nd anniversary of Family Circus first appearing in newspapers Wow, that's amazing. Just think about it. That's the same joke told 19,028 different ways"

"McDonald's is like if Ke$ha were a restaurant."

"Yo mama so fat she wears a vcr as a beeper."

"Outside, contemplating life, love, and happiness and if I should tell the neighbor that his kid has been stuck in a tree for three hours."

"The rest of you just need to get fat because I don't feel like going to the gym anymore..."

"My haircuts are just like my sex life Usually do it myself and there's a big mess I hate cleaning up afterwards."

"Q: What do you call a blonde sky diving team? A: A new version of the lawn dart's game."

"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I suspect Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."

"All that voted for Brexit should be jailed for pedophilia... Because they want to fuck an entire generation of kids."

"A good friend will help you move. A great friend will help you move a body."