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Joke of the Day

"How many French eggs do you need? One egg is un oeuf."

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"Statistically 9 out 11 Americans won't get this I have nothing to put here..."
"Last night I overheard a punchline, but didn't hear the preceding joke. The punchline is inside, you tell me the joke. Bruce Jenner's cat"
"Not to play the martyr, but I feel like the thousands of fruit flies in my kitchen should be more appreciative for all I have given them."
"What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage? ""Let's knot."""
"How to make your God proud? By abusing his names in other languages."
"Fidel Castro just passed away... ...I suppose Black Friday was too MUCH capitalism for him."
"Wonder why my son doesn't want me to walk him to the bus stop? Maybe I'd better unhook one of the straps on my overalls like the cool kids."
"Why do fencers make terrible Redditors? They always riposte. ^^^^^^^^this ^^^^^^^^is ^^^^^^^^a ^^^^^^^^riposte ^^^^^^^^too"
"The moments I'm not eating are somewhat torturous."