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Joke of the Day

"What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage? ""Let's knot."""

"Instagram makes me feel like the world's only employed person."

"What did Will Smith say to Carleton when he asked if he was ready to leave their yoga class? Nah I'ma stay."

"Fact: if you drop a penny from a skyscraper it can kill someone on the street? It's true, I'm still glad I went with a bowling ball though"

"How do you win a superbowl without cheating? I don't know, I'm a Patriots fan"

"I love when I open my dryer door and money falls out instead of my cat."

"A chicken that gets it's B's and F's mixed up... sure would sound fowl."

"Cell references in excel are like gold diggers. If you want them to stay in the same place you have to throw some money at them."

"Why did Ted Cruz's father assassinate JFK? To get to the other side!"

"What's Emperor Palpatine's favorite kind of cheese? ""Gouda, gouda..."""