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Joke of the Day

"Not to play the martyr, but I feel like the thousands of fruit flies in my kitchen should be more appreciative for all I have given them."

Next Joke
 
"POLISH JOKE WHAT DO YOU CALL A PIMPLE ON A POLISH GUYS ASS? A: A BRAIN TUMOR"
"*rolls up on dance battle* Sick moves bruh. You know who else had sick moves? Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ *hands out pamphlets*"
"Nicki Minaj looks like an unlocked character that you get on the last level of Mortal Kombat."
"Whoa. There are books on TAPE? Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives."
"I'll never feel more drunk than I do walking down a broken escalator sober."
"I just tore a dumpling in half It was wonton destruction"
"Why don't Baptist's have sex standing up? It could lead to dancing."
"Doctor Doctor I think I'm a moth. So why did you come around then ? Well I saw this light at the window...!"
"What's the definition of unlikely? A photo-spread in Playboy titled 'The World's Top Accountants - Nude!'."