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Joke of the Day

"Wonder why my son doesn't want me to walk him to the bus stop? Maybe I'd better unhook one of the straps on my overalls like the cool kids."

"Who was the most famous pirate octopus? Captain Squid!"

"The name CONstitution sounds so negative. Since 'pro' is the opposite of 'con' we should call it prosti..... oh wait."

"I don't know how some people do it ""4 minute shower"" It takes me like 4 minutes to even get the water to be the right temperature."

"Guy walks into a bar Metal bar. Ouch"

"It's with great tragedy that I report my blonde next door neighbour tried to kill her toy poodle. She tried putting batteries in it."

"How much does a pirate pay for corn? Buccaneer."

"I like cheese Just like cheese man"

"Two dogs are going on a walk down the street They walk past a few parking meters and one dog says to the other, ""Hey, check it out! Pay toilets!"""

"Wrote this while waiting for a burrito in 2009 What's the difference between Helen Keller and Susan B. Anthony? One doesn't know her place, the other can't find it."