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Joke of the Day

"Boyfriend: you want to go see the new Star Wars? Me: I LOVE STAR WARS BF: which was your fav Me: duh, Sorcerer's Stone"

"Just picked up a Where's Waldo audiobook: ""Not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo, not Waldo"""

"I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today.... I can't believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That's 7 years in a row now."

"If electricity always follows the path of least resistance, why doesn't lightning only strike in France?"

"Why didn't the grizzly bear dissolve? Because he wasn't polar"

"My company is hiring someone for a Business Development, Sales and Marketing position... They're gonna call the new hire the BDSM Executive."

"So when two guys get super friendly it's bromantic, but what about two girls? Can we make homantic a thing? Or 'gina buddies or something?"

"Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a phone booth? A1: You need a quarter to use the phone."

"What's the difference between OP and a brick? A brick gets laid!"

"What's the difference between a Kit Kat and an Essex girl? You can only get 4 fingers in a Kit Kat."