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Joke of the Day

"The lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life,"" but john came fifth and won a toaster."

"The word of the day is legs... Lets go home and spread the word"

"I walked into a room full of men and they couldn't stop staring at me. Oh...wrong toilets."

"I'm Mexican and I think we should go to bed early Tomorrow we need to wake up early to go build the wall."

"What do you call a cab driver who lost his brakes? A screwdriver"

"I'm always right about things... Could you say I have a correctile dysfunction?"

"What fruit fits best in your palm? a palm-agranate!"

"Recently, my grandfather told me his so glad that he is married... because he hated finishing his own sentences when he was single."

"I just hope the government doesn't have my Angry Birds scores. All in all they're pretty embarassing."

"REMINDER: Joe Biden is the only American vice president in the last 15 years who hasn't shot a friend in the face."