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Joke of the Day

"Anyone got any good Elvis jokes? I'm the master of ceremony (as Elvis) for a Vegas-themed casino night. Thanks Reddit!"

"Shouldn't the Air and Space museum be empty?"

"My wife once told me that she ingested fecal matter while in the womb I like to give her crap about it."

"Astronauts are cowards, why don't you stay down here and face earth's problems like a man"

"Memo to Life: Fewer lemons. More cherries. Thanks!"

"If you are a driver who swerves right before turning left, take a long hard look in the mirror, and then punch yourself in the face."

"7: I need a pet pig so I can always have bacon. Me: There are some fundamental flaws in your plan but I like the way you think."

"The quietest sound ever recorded is the sound of a Canadian saying ""excuse me"" in a crowd"

"Comedy is suffering. I just saw on twitter someone posted ""When you've got a migraine so bad you can't see straight :c"" I've never heard of a migraine making heterosexuals invisible before."

"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business."