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Joke of the Day

"I climbed a mountain yesterday Things were looking up until I got to the summit. It was all downhill from there."

"Which gun does Superman use? SCAR-L"

"[Maroon 4 meeting] Adam Levine: ""Our band name sucks"" Drummer that no one knows the name of: ""let's think bigger"" Adam: ""I've got it"""

"my ex-girlfriend named my penis Trump, Because it talked a big game to get inside, left her disappointed, and she wanted to get rid of it in 4 years or less..."

"All-Girls High School ""The number one most commonly used phrase in any all-girls high school is 'behind my back!' The second most common is 'right to my face!'"" - Celia Pacquola"

"I've been reading a book on euthanasia... It's so good I can't put it down."

"Mario Kart: 1) stays in first place for 3 laps 2) gets passed by 5 people at last second 3) slams controller 4) quits job 5) divorces wife"

"How do you re-use a condom? Turn it inside out, and shake the fuck out of it."

"So today I finally got my license... to krill!"

"Do you think Apple's next phone will be a 6S?"