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Joke of the Day

"In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering ""I don't know how you eat that shit""."

"How does Jesus make his coffee? Hebrews it."

"Q: What do they use frozen band-aids for? A: Cold cuts."

"How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the furniture."

"Your 'Chemistry' with your girlfriend is great if you remember her 'Periodic Table'."

"Climb mountains not so the world can see you, but so you can see the world."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chip ! Chip who ? Chip of Fools !"

"New boss. How do you spot a bad boss your first day on the job? Check his/her pulse. (bitter at the workplace)"

"I sprayed a spider in my house with Axe, to try and kill it. But now it's name is Chad, and he's fucking my girlfriend..."

"So my scatterbrained friend accused me of misquoting cliches... Isn't that the pot calling the kettle a racist?!?!"