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Joke of the Day

"My brain is like Internet Explorer Slow, rarely used, and needs some things deleted from its history"

"They should invent an alarm clock that if you hit the snooze button more than 3 times it automatically calls in sick for you."

"Can I get a pina colada please. 'This is Starbucks' Sorry, can I have venti pina colada."

"What do you call a German barber? Herr Kutz (This was funnier when I was half asleep this morning)"

"Q: Who burped at the big bad wolf? A: Little Rude Riding Hood!"

"If Adrian Peterson is banned from the NFL, he can always try baseball. Who doesn't need a switch hitter?!"

"Baller is short for ballerina"

"This oatmeal tastes like I'm gonna need a doughnut."

"Never been able to throw a frisbee too well, but I make up for it by having a huge dong & a really positive attitude"

"Someone told me Canada had no territories... I was having Nunavut."