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Joke of the Day

"When Peter Parker was bitten by a radioactive Spiderman, he became... Spidermanman."

"Damn girl, your ass is like an avacado It's that good kinda fat"

"They say Titanic was shot in a swimming pool. So was The Great Gatsby."

"What do you call an orchestra with bronchitis? A coughcoughony!"

"I think my favorite sexual organ is the one in the Milan Cathedral because that is the only organ I've actually had sex with."

"What do skeletons like to put on their meat? Grave-y."

"How many members of Coldplay does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just one, but he has to see Radiohead do it first."

"On my home screen I surrounded the Fitbit app with a bunch of food delivery apps so it knows what's up."

"Neil Armstrong: now where did I park my car? [presses key button] [tiny orange light flashes on the moon] god dammit"

"PSA for vacationing families: Don't let your kids play PokemonGo at Disney. They'll get eaten by wild Feraligatrs."