102563

Joke of the Day

"What is big and hard when you put it in your mouth and small and soft when you take it out? A chewing gum you pervert"

"I was absolutely disgusted when a gay guy came on to me at the bar. After kicking his ass out the door, I went for a towel to clean it off."

"Did you hear about the man who had his whole left side bitten off by a shark? He's all right now."

"They say diarrhoea is hereditary... It runs in your jeans"

"They say that nothing can be erased from the Internet... Except for Hillary's emails."

"What's the difference between an athlete and Hitler? An athlete succeeds in ending a race."

"Paris Hilton says that bees frighten her. I bet the rest of the alphabet does too."

"I told my waiter the same thing i told my plastic surgeon. Give me chicken breasts."

"[breaks into your house] [steals your shoes] [walks a mile in them] [judges you]"

"If by 'lucky' you mean I remember to clean the lint trap so it doesn't self combust, then yes, I'm up all night to get lucky. . . Again."