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Joke of the Day

"I was absolutely disgusted when a gay guy came on to me at the bar. After kicking his ass out the door, I went for a towel to clean it off."

"What do you call a Russian man with three testicles? Mr. Whodyounickabollockov"

"Nice try Jehovah's witnesses, but dressing up like the police and saying you have a warrant isn't going to get me to come to the door."

"Lance Armstrong got emotional during his Oprah interview, but numerous sources are reporting that he used performance enhancing onions."

"If you see a guy in an executioner's hood feeding a deer into a Coinstar today just let me do my thing."

"Confuse your least favorite person at work by moving in slow motion when they're the only person watching you"

"Why are you laughing? My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I don't see much to laugh about in that. But it was the wrong one!"

"Stuff I think about... I've often wondered what would happen if a Schizophrenic took a multi-vitamin. I have many more of these posers I may or may not post...."

"I kept unwrapping my present and it was the lamest gift ever. A cardboard tube."

"What do you call it when the girl you like likes you back? Imagination"