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Joke of the Day

"Autocorrect changed ""baby rattle"" to ""baby battle"" and now I'm googling where to buy tiny weapons."

"I beat up some eggs with an egg beater. They kept cracking yokes at me."

"What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman."

"What do you get when you cross a fag and a dairy farm? A Dairy Queen"

"One good thing about graduation is that you get to wear a funny hat that makes your brain look larger than it actually is."

"My wife named my penis Donald Trump It has a weird haircut and is not qualified to run this country."

"Darth Vader told me he knows what i'm getting for Christmas He said he felt my presents..."

"What did the green grape say to the purple grape? Breathe."

"I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house."

"A man asked a genie for a twelve-inch prick. He got a little man who ran up and down the bar kicking over drinks."