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Joke of the Day

"I leave my vacuum in the middle of the floor at all times so when I have unexpected company I can say I was just about to clean my house."

"Did you hear about the time Eddy's sister tried to make a birthday cake ? The candles melted in the oven."

"The completely inane bullshit I read on my phone doesn't deserve the super intense face I make while staring at it."

"It's weird that America has never had a bald eagle president but Australia has had several kangaroo prime ministers (I assume)."

"A guy walks into a bar with a gun and shouts ""Which one of you fuckers is reposting jokes on r/jokes?"" A voice from the back called out ""I don't think you have enough bullets m8."""

"iFunny Like Hack [This post was swallowed by a black hole]"

"A colleague of mine fell into a vat of chemicals. Ironically, his quick reaction killed him."

"So a man comes in a bar Er, no, wait, I meant a horse. So a man comes in a horse..."

"What is the speed of sex? 68... because at 69 you have to turn around"

"By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring."