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Joke of the Day

"What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer? A Doberman."

"So I tried using one of those date rape drugs the other night... It turns out its really hard to rape a girl when you're drooling on the floor the room is spinning."

"Today is International Women's Day. It was actually supposed to be held yesterday but they took too long to get ready."

"Theres a new STD for birds.. It's called Chirpes. And the worst part? Its untweetable."

"I couldn't think of any good Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes right now, but when I do I'll be back."

"I like to use Rock, paper scissors to make all my binary choices. Like what gender I am"

"My wife phoned me, panting and breathless. ""Where are you?"" she moaned. ""I'm at the pub."" I replied. She said, ""I think the baby's coming!"" I said, ""Well, he won't get in. He's underage."""

"A man goes to the library and asks for a book about suicide. The librarian stares at him for a while and then asks ""But who is going to bring it back?"""

"What internet provider does Satan use in hell? Comcast"

"A vintage coin only sells for .02 cents at an auction Needless to say, he felt under appreciated."