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Joke of the Day

"Can you imagine getting the girl of dream's phone number and her first text to you she spells it ""defantely"""

"How did the puppeteer meet the President? He pulled some strings."

"What do you get when you cross pokemon and digimon?! A poke-mon!"

"What's a prison executioners favorite beer? Shock-top"

"I got a tattoo in memory of MH370... You'll never find it."

"Why do heroine addicts rarely have meetings late in the afternoon? Because it's dangerous to shoot for 3 or even 4."

"Jason's wife Liane wanted something that in 6 seconds goes from 0-200.. So he bought her a bathroom scale. You're fat liane, don't sugar coat it. Because you'll just eat that too."

"Why was the killer whale fired from his restaurant job? Because he didn't serve a porpoise..."

"How does Harry Potter get down a hill? Walking. Jk. Rowling."

"What do you call a voucher for complimentary Chipotle? free coli"