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Joke of the Day

"God once put his dick in a box as a gift and called it the Omnipresent."

"What do you call a recovering alcoholic? A ginspiration."

"There hasn't really been any natural disasters lately Even the mudslides have gone downhill."

"A police man pulls over a car in the middle of the night ""Sir, do you realise how badly your car was swerving between lanes?"" ""I've had 8 drinks, officer."" ""That's no excuse to let your wife drive..."""

"Why did the Mexican tie his wife to the train tracks? To-kill-er"

"Weekend's coming up. Time to surf the real world."

"Did you know that national middle child day was last week? Yeah... Nobody else did either..."

"Condoms 1272AD - Arab Muslims invent the first condoms using the lower intestine of goats. 1856AD - English farmers improve on the idea by first removing the intestine from the goat."

"The problem with marriage is that it was invented when people lived to the ripe old age of 30."

"I've opened a restaurant called 'Karma'... There's no menu, you just get what you deserve."