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Joke of the Day

"How bad is my career? I met a homeless guy on the beach in Los Angeles & thought ""Wow this guy has it made"""

"I don't know the lyrics to any of Pitbull's songs, but in my defense, I'm not really convinced he does either."

"What city will Leo Dicaprio never visit ? Osaka."

"What do you get if you cross Socrates with a dentist? A flossopher!"

"I have always hated shopping for clothes because my mom would always hit me alot with a coathanger as a child Then i was born"

"You're so fat that your husband rolled over after sex, rolled over again and was STILL on top of you."

"Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink? So women know where to stand in the kitchen."

"Super productive day, I took down all of my neighbor's outdoor Christmas decorations."

"I'm Hungary I'm Russian to the kitchen to czech the fridge There is turkey But it's covered in Greece There's Norway I can eat that. Edit:spelling"

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or somebody is going to think were nuts."