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Joke of the Day

"Why are there rugs in front of the stove and the sink? So women know where to stand in the kitchen."

"Feed a man... Feed a man some fish he'll eat for a day. Feed a man some poison he'll eat for the rest of his life. Feed a man some fingers and he'll ask you to stop."

"How many Freemasons does it take to screw in a light bulb? It's a secret!"

"Yo mama is so fat that she needs a book mark to keep track of all her chin rolls!"

"I just bough t a new pair of sunglasses... So anytime I make a bad pun, I'm gonna put them on and *puts on sunglasses* Look cool."

"I told a woman she'd drawn her fake eyebrows on too high she looked surprised."

"My sister is gifting me some rain forest this Christmas... Is it possible to hire some local loggers or will I have to travel to Brazil and cut it down myself?"

"My father was known for running marathons He never came back from the Boston one though But I knew that he'd say it was bomb I'm glad he went out with a bang"

"[walks into gym with my sunglasses on] WHATS UP LADIES *takes off sunglasses* damn it 3rd treadmill I've hit on this week"

"Ugh. Do I really need to register to your website to leave a comment? I just need to disagree with this asshole real quick."