102162

Joke of the Day

"When I play poker, it turns out a lot like when I poop when there's no toilet paper... I get shit hands"

"Two angels run out of weed... One angel is very upset but the other consoles him. ""Fear not,"" he says and he points to Jesus. ""For he has resin."""

"Life is like toilet paper... ... you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"Was just reading a new book with a great female hero And I can say I'm addicted to this heroine."

"On Halloween, how do skeletons call their friends? With their iBone."

"INTERVIEWER: under skills you've listed ""gets jokes"" ME: haha, very good. good one sir, haha"

"Always be yourself... Unless you run into one of your exes... Then... Be a WAY more successful version of yourself..."

"Sooo much pressure as a woman to not have a mustache."

"Women is born with two vaginas The parents and the doctor thought it was a miracle until poop came out of the second one"

"You know what the problem is with dating a white girl with a mixed baby? The kid never spends the weekend at their dad's house. **I'll just see myself out**"