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Joke of the Day

"All i'm saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first."

"my doctor refuses to fight me and i think it's cause he saw how i barely cried during my flu shot"

"How did Hellen Keller break her arms when she fell down a well? She was shouting for help."

"What is the opposite of Christopher Reeve? Christopher Walken."

"The world's fastest boxer invited anyone to try to avoid his fists... There was no punchline."

"I get 9"" in bed every night. That's how much mattress is left for me once the dogs get comfortable."

"What did the Chinese cowboy say? Nii haw!"

"What if we had an internet and nobody came?"

"Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with ""obstruction of justice."" This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time."

"Can't make an important life decision so I'm gonna try and find a wise old black man to impart some wisdom like they do in movies."