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Joke of the Day
"To get to the other side Why did the time traveler cross the road?"
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"Why did the feminist cross the road? To suck my fuckin' dick!"
"I just killed a huge spider crawling along the floor with my shoe. I don't care how big a spider is, nobody steals my fucking shoe!"
"What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? French onion soup."
"Honestly sometimes I STILL think about how dope it is that I don't have any homework."
"If I say ""last Star Wars"" and u say ""Actually you mean 3rd Star Wars! It's a prequel!"" I'm going to hit u with a fish tank."
"I installed a skylight in my apartment. The people living above me are furious."
"I mailed my maths homework to Barack Obama, Vladimir Putin and Queen Elizabeth II ...it said to give my answers to 3 significant figures."
"Pizza Hut ad: ""Do you want the same old same old, or do you want the original?"" Think about these words."
"Who cooks in a lesbian relationship? None they both eat out."