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Joke of the Day

"I hope that one day I am as fearless as a New York City Pigeon."

"What did one coconut say to the other? Oh my god a talking coconut!"

"Johnny Depps wife filed for divorce, thanks a lot Australia! This is why nice people don't visit you!"

"I haven't watched porn since last year The past 6 hours has been tough"

"I started dating an astronaut. It happened out of nowhere. I did not planet."

"Who is Pitbull's favorite nascar driver? Dale Earnhardt jr."

"I created a new word today. Plagiarism."

"Rattlesnakes and condoms Two things I don't fuck with"

"What's another name for a Jew? A sneeze."

"There are two ways to trigger a nuclear chain reaction: ... The first involves hitting uranium with accelerated protons. The second is mentioning Hillary and Feminism in one sentence."