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Joke of the Day
"Got shut down by a 12 year old. Kid: wow you're really good! Me: good at what? :D Kid: Nothing. :l"
Next Joke
"I haven't got the nut ratios just right yet, so it's more of a trial mix."
"Thanks for warning me to be careful after I slipped & fell. I'll be sure to wish you luck on your lab test results at your funeral."
"*On my Deathbed* Me: Tell Tac.. *cough* Wife: What sweetie? Tell who what?! Me: Tell Taco Bell their cheese to lettuce ratio is way off.."
"Some people should be forced to carry a plant around with them, to replace the oxygen they waste."
"I gave my baby a teething toy so she would stop chewing on my fingers. She wasn't interested because it didn't scream out in pain."
"Daughter: ""I wish you were a better listener."" Me: ""I wish you were more interesting."" Daughter: ""Don't tweet that."" Me: ""I won't."""
"First trick or treater of the day just came round dressed as Gloria Gaynor At first I was afraid, I was petrified."
"To my student loans I am forever in your debt."
"A programming joke There are three hard problems in computer concurrency. science. Cache invalidation, naming things, off-by-one errors, and"