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Joke of the Day

"Just found some atheist propaganda in this motel room. I opened the dresser drawer and it was empty."

"A feminist once asked me: ""What's your view on lesbians?"" I responded: ""1080p."""

"Chinese Food: $16.72 Gas to Get to Restaurant: $1.94 Getting Home and Realizing They Forgot One of Your Food Containers: Riceless"

"mythical anciemt turtel that canot die has been found in the galapagos. ""dont worry"" says one scientist ""we wil find a way to kill it"""

"I need to start paying closer attention to stuff. Found out today my wife and I have separate names for the cat."

"I'm setting more realistic New Year's resolutions this year, like never doing anything right and not pleasing my wife."

"A girl drinks 4 cosmos over a span of 60 minutes. 25 mins later, she texts 3 of her besties. How many emojis will she use? Show your work."

"Everyone wants to have sex, sluts are just successful. That's why we hate them. Stupid sluts."

"[2:30AM] *it's quite late now. Let's make a call* *Hey Boss, are you sleepin?* [Yes you nerd, why?] *cause I'm still doing your stupid work*"

"Please be more careful with your tacos. I just found them in my mouth."