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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the aristocratic horse? He was the last of his race!"

"my bf is wonderful but he will never be as soft as my roommate's dog who moved out of the house WHY GREG WHY CAN'T YOU BE AS SOFT AS THE DOG"

"You can tell a lot about a person by how quickly they grab their phone back to make sure you don't scroll through the rest of their photos."

"Back from my bike ride and I feel fit as a fiddle ... the fiddle, ya know, that most athletic of instruments..."

"Beauty is in the Eye of the: A) Holder B) Holder C) Holder D) Holder"

"Did you hear about the snail who used to be shipped around the world in wooden crates? He was ex-cargo."

"What is the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly my dick down your throat."

"What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats? Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back."

"I'm confused... square box, round pizza but triangle slices."

"What do you call a disappointing white wine? Prosecc-oh..."