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Joke of the Day

"Someone flipped me off so I threw my wallet at him and said ""I love you."" He didn't even die. Killing people with kindness is hard."

"What do you call a cow having a seizure? A milkshake."

"If you can fit all your liquor in a cabinet I question your commitment to alcohol."

"I'm friends with a statue. He's really a gneiss guy."

"After tonight's World Series game... It looks like the Indians are going to have a different type of trail of tears."

"I have an irrational fear of over-engineered buildings. I have a complex complex complex"

"MOVE CHEESE!! Get out of the whey!! Credit to some youtuber."

"The key to a healthy sex life... ...also opens the back door."

"Knock, knock. Who's there? Deja. Deja who? Knock, knock."

"I went to a karaoke bar last night. I went to a karaoke bar last night that didn't play any 70's music... at first I was afraid, oh I was petrified."