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Joke of the Day

"After tonight's World Series game... It looks like the Indians are going to have a different type of trail of tears."

"Patient: I always see spots before my eyes. Doctor: Didn't the new glasses help? Patient: Sure now I see the spots much clearer."

"Password must contain a capital letter, a number, a plot, a protagonist with some character development, and a surprise ending."

"Do you come from heaven? Did it hurt when you landed on your face?"

"North Koreans are huge Dark Souls fans They spend all their time praisin' the son."

"Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game? There was a face-off in the corner."

"""Dad, am I adopted?"" ""No. We haven't found anybody who wants you yet."""

"All these years and the ""insert thumb and lift"" tab on macaroni and cheese boxes is still lying to us."

"Harambe went to a bar Bartender: What can I get you today? Harambe: May I get a martini? Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice? Me: Justice for Harambe."

"If you are looking for a bad girl, I have been known to shop at the art supply store on days they aren't having a sale..."