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Joke of the Day

"Doc Brown and Marty are watching the news The newscaster announces ""Due to a large string of worker protests in the United States the price of cheese has gone up 200%"" Doc Brown: ""Grate, Scott!"""

"Please stop praying for my grandpa u are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their tasers don't work on him :("

"I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation."

"Q: Why doesn't the dinosaur cross the road anymore? A: Because their eggs stink. (They're extinct)"

"Stabbed myself in the eye with a yellow pen and now everything looks all Instagramy."

"Sometimes I think I've missed my calling. Luckly for me I have voicemail."

"I showed my cop roommate ""Requiem for a Dream"" for the first time last night. It was so dark, he shot the t.v."

"Practice makes perfect. But only if you remove the A, the I, a C, add an F and an E and then rearrange the letters."

"what did the proud cheerleader say after she screwed the whole. basketball team? I never knew I had it in me."

"This girl came up to me today and said she recognized me from the vegetarian club. I was confused. I never met herbivore."