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Joke of the Day

"People need to stop acting like animals have the same emotions as humans... ...they hate it when we do that."

"""What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?"" I was asked on an internet forum. ""Because you're not allowed to take them on planes,"" I answered."

"I was going to tell a joke about a popular rock band, but.. I'm going to need A Day To Remember."

"Why is diabetes like a fumble recovery? Because you didn't know they had it."

"What does a sandwich filling share in common with Joffrey Lannister? They are both in bread."

"How do you catch an orange elephant? I don't know. I've never seen an orange elephant."

"I don't understand why it's called a Chastity Belt. Everyone I know named Chastity is a stripper."

"My dog just growled back at my rumbling stomach. We have reached a new level of communication."

"Well tonight's date night for me and the wife I certainly hope we don't run into each other"

"My Wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall... I said maybe.........."