198980

Joke of the Day

"""What makes you think you can criticise American gun laws, sitting over there in the UK?"" I was asked on an internet forum. ""Because you're not allowed to take them on planes,"" I answered."

"What did the cannibal ask for in his burrito? Human beans"

"A father of four finds out hes months behind on child support... *[deleted] 1 hour ago (0 children)*"

"An Irish man walks out of a bar. Hey, it could happen."

"Q: What did the cow say to the masked robber? A: Moo."

"Avoid confrontations in the work place by slashing your coworker's tires while they sleep."

"Does anyone want to buy a broken yo-yo? No strings attached"

"A polio survivor walks into a bar...... Wait I fucked it up."

"A Spanish magician.. A Spanish magician says to a crowd ""on the count of three, I will vanish into thin air"" he then starts counting ""uno, dos..."" And all of a sudden he vanishes, without a tres."

"The human brain is an amazing organ. It keeps working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, and 52 weeks a year, from before you leave the womb, right up until you find religion."