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Joke of the Day

"How do you make a girl gain weight? Marry her."

"Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they're singing about the same girl & get mad at each other."

"While you are trying to remember your ex then look at your watch and it's showing 4:04 ..."

"Q: How many alto sax players does it take to change a light bulb? A: Five. One to handle the bulb and 4 to contemplate how David Sanborn would've done it."

"Why do trees seem suspicious on sunny days? I dunno, they just seem a bit shady."

"How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb? None. That's a hardware problem."

"Gay guys are fucking assholes"

"Why did brass and steel team-up together during the war? Because they were alloys."

"What has two thumb drives full of porn and forgot his laptop was hooked up to the projector?"

"The mods removed the previous joke that summited about my penis. It was improperly tagged as long."