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Joke of the Day

"Do let me know if you're ever unhappy with any of my Tweets. I will block you immediately. Anything to stop you being sad. You're welcome :)"

"Caesar: Veni, vidi, vici meaning I came, I saw, I conquered. Which is probably useful for explaining why the strip club down the street now has the motto: Veni, vidi, veni."

"What was Hitler's favorite letter? Not z!"

"I never buy Velcro It's such a rip off."

"When kids don't want to take a nap, can they be charged with resisting a rest?"

"How many..... How many alzheimers patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side"

"Shouldn't Spiderman have 4 more legs?"

"I want to glisten like a Budweiser beer and attract men, but here I am sweating casually for no one."

"What's a pirates favorite letter? You think it's 'aarrrggh' but it's really the 'sea!' Tell me your favorite corny one liner jokes"

"Jokes about German sausage are the wurst"