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Joke of the Day

"Me: It's not often that a single guy like me gets a home cooked meal. Her: Why don't you get married? Me: I've never been that hungry."

Next Joke
 
"What's green, slimey and smells like pork? Kermit's finger."
"The worst thing about Obama's presidency is knowing Will Smith will play him in the eventual biopic and win an Oscar. Fuck that."
"What happened when the cow jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder disaster."
"What did the Alligator say to the turtle? Can I bayou a drink?"
"As I was about 3/4 of the way through the Fallout 4 campaign, I began to notice something strange... ."
"When I was a little boy I asked my mum 'how many is a couple?' She replied 'oh, two or three' Now I know why her marriage didn't last long"
"Life is like a box of chocolates. People repeating the same movie quotes over and over until words have no meaning peanut tambourine ocelot"
"Jesus and Mohammad are debating religion. Jesus, with a smug smile, says: ""My faith can move the tallest of mountains."" Mohammad confidently replies: ""How well does it do with skyscrapers, brotha?"""
"What did the Estonian student say in language class? I'll never Finnish. *dodges tomato*"