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Joke of the Day
"I put a thousand pounds on a horse. The fucking thing collapsed."
Next Joke
"I am part of the 1% Well, at least my cell phone battery is."
"[getting fired from NASA] Is it because I kept saying ""Technically we're already in space?"""
"3-year-old: *stares at the baby* What does it do? Me: Nothing yet. She's not here to entertain you. 3: Me: 3: Can we get one that is?"
"""Are you from Cincinnati?"" ""No. Bosboston."""
"And the award for best neckwear goes to... huh, well would you look at that. It was a tie"
"let's head over to the barber shop and make hair angels on the floor"
"What's the difference between the IRS and Jared Fogle? The IRS waits until you're 18 to fuck you."
"Still trying to convince my boss that I'm just using beer-flavoured toothpaste."
"Those who say ""two wrongs don't make a right"" have obviously never tried ranch dressing on french fries."