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Joke of the Day

"How much does Nicki Minaj sell security devices for? Pound an alarm"

"Two canibals are having a meal . . . One looks at the other and says, ""Man I hate my mother-in-law!"" The second one shrugs and replies, ""Then try some of the potatoes."""

"What's the difference between a tornado and a divorce in the south. Nothing, someone's losing the trailer."

"A girl to her friend... ""isn't that guy hot? I am gonna ask him out"" ""he doesn't look good when he laugh"" - said the other girl ""don't worry, he won't laugh anymore"""

"What do you call baby ents that are going to war? The infantree."

"One of my peers asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. After struggling to come up with an answer, I decided to go get laser eye surgery. Now I've got 2020 vision...."

"looking for roommate, utilities included. if you're taller than me, i get to ride your shoulders when we are in the same room. no exceptions"

"Sorry Im late, I was staring at a wall for an hour thinkin about how delicious that pizza looked on Home Alone 2 when Kevin got in the limo."

"My daughter loves all the toys she sees in commercials. So of course I have to tell her they don't exist in real life, just on tv."

"Why was the Queen of Horses hated by her subjects? Because she was too ahoof."