100900

Joke of the Day

"[INFOMERCIAL] ""Order now and receive 50% off The Clapper. CLAP ON.. CLAP OFF.. THE CLAPPER"" Tyrannosaurus rex: *Sighs... *Changes channel"

"My gran'dad made moonshine and died at the ripe old age of 38... Ellen Degeneris"

"if the gas station is 2 miles away.. ..and my dad's car can travel at 60mph, why hasn't he returned from getting cigarettes after 6 years?"

"Arial walked into a bar. The bartender said ""We don't serve your type here."""

"What does a crook see with? Burglarize"

"Whats a caged animal's favorite food? Zoocchini"

"Bobby Flay's sister is pretty big in the dessert game too. Sue Flay."

"My midwife just sat me down and gently broke the news that I am simply plump and she has no reason to be here."

"[2050] ""Grandpa, how did President Trump ever get elected?"" Well, we were a bit distracted. That was the year adult coloring books came out"

"Having Justin Bieber sing at your funeral so your death will be the second worst thing happening to your friends that day."