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Joke of the Day

"I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT! WHY THE F*CK WOULD SOMEBODY BREAK INTO A HOUSE JUST TO STEAL A REMOTE CON-Never mind, I found it."

Next Joke
 
"What do you get your girlfriend for Valentines Day? A box of chocolate, flowers and a dildo. So if she doesn't like the chocolate and flowers she can go fuck herself."
"Took a nap. Think the nap store manager saw me take it. Freaking out."
"Wanna hear a joke? The WNBA."
"Donald trump Yeah."
"Texan: So where you from? Harvard graduate: The kind of place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Texan: Where you from jackass?"
"I think we should find time today to send a friend request to Myspace Tom on Facebook; he was there for us when we didn't have any friends."
"BEAUTY TIP: avoid unsightly wrinkles by being a sociopath who is incapable of feeling genuine emotions"
"After years of marriage & kids I have no idea how I'd handle a 1st date. Just give him a juice box, crackers & an iPad? Do I bring coupons?"
"Did you know.. Statistically 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape?"
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