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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an element found in the ground? Barium."

"I think my optometrist is in love with me. Every time I leave his office he hands me a bottle of contact solution and says ""Eye care for you"""

"What do you get when you cross and elephant and a rhino? 'elephino.."

"Office fun: replace your coworker's mouse with a larger mouse so he thinks his hands are shrinking then call him ""baby hands"" until he quits"

"A penis has a sad life: His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, & his owner beats him."

"My girlfriend and I finally decided to try out role-play in the bedroom. I dressed up like Luke Skywalker And she pretended to be a dead fish."

"A man in Arizona buys a [Tempescope Cube](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ddMyIsxZ-g). He returned it a week later because all it did was blow sand and tumbleweeds around."

"Did you notice the difference between Trump's inauguration and Obama's? Trump's crowd paled in comparison."

"*emerges from a large magic lamp,* it's me the Reasonable genie, please only wish for things like 'drive me to the airport'"

"how many redditors does it take to change a lightbulb? probably just one, but we may never know because they're all way too busy coming up with lightbulb jokes."