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Joke of the Day

"Texan: So where you from? Harvard graduate: The kind of place where we don't end our sentences with prepositions. Texan: Where you from jackass?"

"If you lend someone $20 and never see them again, it was probably worth it."

"What do you call an IS-leader on a motorcycle? Abu Bikr"

"Orc try to get at you? Hobbit like it's hot. Sauron get an attitude? Hobbit like it's hot. *click clack click clack click*"

"Why were screams coming from the kitchen? The cook was beating the eggs."

"What's the fastest liquid on earth? Milk. It's pasteurized before you see it."

"White people really do look alike, so let's fill up on teriyaki chicken samples by walking laps around the food court."

"Waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay Sounds suuuuuuper fun if you don't happen to know what either of they things are."

"Did you know you can take a whole nap and wake up and football will still be on?"

"So Thor walks into a bar.. Thor falls to the ground and Loki laughs ""that must have happened at least Thor hundred times this month"""