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Joke of the Day

"Q: How can you tell when Clinton is ready for battle [in Bosnia]? A: He's got his jogging suit on."

"When I die... I want to go peacefully in my sleep. Like my father. Not screaming and yelling. Like his passengers"

"My neighbor got an iPad! I know this because I always steal his mail. My new iPad is awesome!"

"I am friends with 25 letters from the alphabet I don't know y EDIT: Credits to Chris Turner."

"The NSA can see our emails but can they see why kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?"

"Are you African? [NSFW] Because you are a frican bitch. Zing~!"

"I will never eat at Chick-Fil-A because of its owner's bigotry. Thank god every other corporation is run by kind, forward-thinking people!"

"What do you call a priest's sermon that takes too long? The Reverending Story"

"Stretching before working out is for wussies could someone please call 911?"

"Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet? Because he was always lost at C."